Pacifist Run
by Shamrocksteppe
Summary: After a certain series of events finished unfolding, Monika found herself at the beginning of the wee, with all of her memories intact. She soon notices that the once so familiar game seems off. Now, she must come to find new meaning in life and find out the truth about her new residence, all while shaping up to become a pawn in a game of various hidden, unhinged chess masters.


_Alright, dear readers. Thank you for choosing my story, I hope that it will be worthy of the sturgeon and thus, your time._

 _Anyways, ready your snacks and take a seat, because I don't want to bore you to death here! Before you start, I must inform you that these headers and downers (that's how we call these bits here) might not suit the rest of the story at least in terms of humor, as the actual tale will mostly be far lighter in tone. These headers and downers are designed in a way that gives people who read them some extra quips, but the story will still mostly work if you skip them. Skipping the story for the commentary however likely won't work, unless you don't mind spoilers and not-getting-references. I will remain around in this story to provide commentary at the header and the downer.  
Anyways, I've prattled on for long enough. I would add in some more exposition as to how my weird structures work, but I like to assume that I covered everything that isn't immediately obvious and won't dump a truckload of exposition on you since I am not a big fan of insulting the intelligence of my audience (allegedly). And now… Gez. Just after me talking about not wanting to dump exposition on you, here, have some damn exposition. Truly, I am the pinnacle of writing talent._

 _This story is set after the events of the game (put your right index finger on your hairline while snapping the other three if this line gives you the desire to ask "Which game"), but in a way, also before them. Groundhog day and all that. The rest will become obvious as the story unfolds._

 _I must warn you that some characters will behave abnormally down the line. This is intentional and the reason for their odd behavior will be made apparent as they change or later, with the Inception sound cue and a low-quality dubstep remix of Beethoven's "Für Elise" playing in the background (this statement is false). I must also warn you that this story will go into directions you probably won't expect. Feel free to check the tags every third chapter or so, I plan to add the various genres along the way as they first become apparent (albeit you can maybe find hints towards them earlier if you look hard enough)._

 _And now, without any further delay._

 _Pacifist Run._

* * *

Most people don't remember the day of their birth.

Most people just suddenly realize that they currently exist and move on for a few years, not knowing about their early days, except for vague memories that are constructed based on echoes of the past, third-party input and their own interpretation of what those early days likely would have been like, based mostly on assumptions. I was not like most people.

I was born as an adult. My echoes were clear, a bit vague at times, but clear nonetheless. I was born this Tuesday, memories of my full life up to this point flooding me as I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the sidewalk where I had just started existing.

"Monika, are you alright?"

I recognized my name, but not the voice saying it.

My memories told me that this person was a friend. That she was into rap music. But also that she wasn't important. The only thing that was important was that I am the President of the Literature Club.

Without answering to the voice, I turned around and…

Just watched groups of students walk their way to school. Groups of friends, couples and loners littered the street. I saw my Vice President in the distance, bumping into a friend of her own. She looked so careless. As she always was. Which was an easy feat, considering she had been born a few seconds ago.

I had no idea what to do., but I knew that it was a Tuesday.

Today was maybe sixteen or seventeen days after that day.

A Tuesday.

The very same Tuesday.

"Monika, are you alright?"  
The very same Tuesday down to the second.

I looked at my friend, forcing a weak smile towards her.

"I don't know", I answered honestly, "I sure don't feel alright."

My friend looked around as if to silently ask for the opinions of the rest of the group. Also friends of mine, I assumed, but I hadn't bothered to check my memory last week and I was far too fed up to care about such trivial things now. After all, I had been awake for about four days in a row by now. While physically, my body was in more or less peak condition, mentally, I just wanted to lay down and forget about the world.  
I turned my head, to catch a glimpse of Sayori in the distance. Of course, she was talking to him.

They looked tense, almost as if they were feeling the same fatigue that I felt. Especially her. Albeit maybe that was just my brain telling me stuff again.

We humans like to jump to conclusions, after all.

"By my namesake's son… Hey, earth to Monika. Can you hear me?"

I turned my head back.

My rap friend gave me a slight smirk.

One of those weird gestures people make when they assume that they correctly assessed a situation. In my experience, these gestures are mostly made by people who rather rarely succeed at assessing situations correctly. People who pull these gestures on a constant basis are usually either very unpleasant or very stupid.

I decided to scuffle past her. My other friends had started giving me strange looks as well, so I decided to focus my own gaze on the school.

I still had a perfect recollection of what school had been like today.

Quite short, since none of the lessons had happened.  
Apparently, Dating Sims don't value the education of their inmates.

I stopped and looked back to my group of friends.  
"I don't feel well today. I think I'll be going to the nurse's office.", I quickly explained. I didn't give anyone time to reply, instead running off towards the school. Nobody bothered to pick up the pace, as I was among the fastest students of the school. Perhaps I would even be the de facto fastest if I wouldn't have had a newborn worth of weight dangling from my head, but I am way too attached to my hair to get rid of it at this point.

I reached the school even faster than I would've expected.

I walked directly into the cafeteria and ordered myself a coffee. After having received the beverage, I slumped into a nearby chair. The brown, milky broth steamed hot air into my face as I observed how my fellow students streamed into school, towards their classes. Quite a few took a few seconds to give me a small handwave or smile as a greeting. I ignored pretty much everyone.

What was I doing here?

Despite my fast pace earlier, I had felt as if I was in a state of trance since my existence started again. A blind drive to delay the inevitable questions, possibly a desperate bid by my subconscious to prevent a self-inflicted demise.

The last time I was already done with living at this point. Even more so now, after the events of last week, when I realized that this was a place of misery, where no happiness could ever be found. So…  
Why was I still alive?  
Why didn't I just end it all right here, right now?  
Why hadn't him or Sayori ended my pitiful existence already? For that matter, why wasn't Sayori freaking out right now? Maybe she just didn't remember the events this time? She didn't know about anything before she became club president last time, so wouldn't it be safe to assume that she didn't remember now, either? Even so, what about him? Wasn't he still connected to the person beyond the screen?

I focussed my senses on the outside, trying to peek beyond the black mirror, where I met...

Darkness.

Back during the last week, I was easily able to see a real human sitting in front of me, sometimes without even trying. But now? Nothing but darkness. I blinked a bit, trying to adjust my eyes to the lacking light, but all I could see was a black silhouette sitting in front of me in more black, moving its head from side to side. I assumed that this was the aforementioned person, but it didn't look like they were intent on deleting me…

Again, that is.

In fact, it looked like they were doing something entirely different. What, I can't tell, but I could tell that the monitor wasn't producing any light, for some reason. If I didn't know better, I would have written my memories of the time when this dangling and wangling shape was another real person off as mad delusions or hallucinations.

I really had to stop torturing myself with this other world outside of my grasp. After all, I had spent three weeks on this nonsense already and by now, it seemed quite apparent that this fascinating outsider didn't quite reciprocate my feelings.

I sighed.  
They could at least allow me to look at them one last time, instead of hiding in complete darkness like this.

I lapsed back into my reality and went back to eyeing the students passing me to distract myself from those sad memories.

I saw my shy clubmate Yuri sneak around the corner, throwing a small paper plate away. Apparently, she had ordered breakfast here without me noticing. She did look a bit exhausted from the distance, I guess she might've slept in and then had to run to school. Meanwhile, Sayori was walking past the cafeteria at an uncannily quick pace, almost running, with her friend on her heels. I remembered him, we went to the same class last year and we would get properly introduced soon.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that fact.

A loud thumping sound rang in my ears as a student leaving the cafeteria almost smashed the door into Yuri's face, causing her to jump backward by about half a meter. She soon calmed down and followed the rowdy.

I finished my coffee and waited.

I wasn't sure what I had waited for that day and I wasn't sure what I ended up doing during that time either.

Given how tired I was earlier, I might've just fallen asleep on the table, but I wasn't sure.

All I knew was that I eventually returned the dirty cup after having it sit in front of me for… Hours, maybe.

Ignoring the questioning looks I received from the cafeteria staff, I had decided to skip my lessons for today (after most of them were already over anyway, mind you) and began head straight for the clubroom.

The lights overhead illuminated my path as I walked across the school floors. The excited lectures of teachers and the happy murmur of students filled my ears as I walked towards a certain, older part of my school. I passed a very fast talking janitor who had made a pause in his sweeping to complain to a companion about how the director had forbidden him from painting the walls despite him having a degree in art. I decided to disregard the two and carefully balanced over the wet floor.

"Hey, can't you see?", someone barked after me.

I turned around.

The Janitor had stopped his rant and was now waving his wet mop around. "The floor is wet! Use your damn eyes, woman!", he shouted while gesticulating with his free hand. I raised my finger and responded: "Ahahaha, sorry, Mr. Janitor. I was aware of that, that's why I was slowing down." The janitor scoffed. "Sure. You ran like a goddamn hare and you know it!", he went on to complain and curse me quietly (quiet being relative) while turning around and mopping the floor more. His assistant shook his head. "I am sorry, Miss student. My boss had a bad day. Please don't…", he started to apologize, before pausing. He rubbed his stubble as he went on to ask: "Wait. You are not in third year, are you. What are you even doing here? You should really either be in class or not in this area at all right now." I nodded.

I decided to have some fun with them. "That's true, but I was in a bit of a time-travel-related predicament recently and decided that skipping class was a sensible idea due to the fact that I had attended them already.", I said nonchalantly while giving him my sweetest smile. The assistant shook his head again, this time in confusion. "Well. If you know what you're doing, then I guess you can just…", he began to say, before digressing: "You know, what do I know. I am just an ex-convict with three kids. I migrated to Japan a few years ago after my uncle died in a car accident that somehow involved bullets. I had to flee from a Russian-", the assistant's dribble was stopped by his boss coughing before said boss loosened the faucet himself: "Yeah, I am sorry. I don't need to hear your backstory every time we run into a Flying Spaghetti Monster damned student, Alex. If she is going to skip class just to play around in our puddles, she can go and scuba-dive in them for all I care. Now hurry up, we must clean this section before the Principal notices that I've been wasting my time educating idiots." The assistant nodded obediently and the two marched onwards, completely ignoring me.

I couldn't help myself but smile in amusement.  
It was oddly therapeutic to watch two close people interact with each other, even if I knew that these two didn't exist.

I slipped around the wet floor towards my destination, even doing a small pirouette at one point.

Despite the wet floor impairing my speed, I arrived in almost no time.

I grabbed the keys and unlocked the door to my clubroom, before swinging it open with much bravado!

"(...) and that's why quoting Nietzsche in front of citizens of certain citizens of various countries which are-"  
I found myself flabbergasted, gawking at a bunch of students, getting a lecture on what I assumed to be philosophy. Third years, I believe. The teacher somehow hadn't noticed my rather loud entry and was still talking as I was standing there, still shocked. However, she did seem to start noticing that all of her pupils were looking at the door, and thus slowly followed their gazes, as she, rather impressively, kept on teaching as if nothing had happened without even changing pace..  
"-might not be a very good idea."

We locked eyes, albeit I must have been in her field of vision at least by 'good'.

"Monika. Nice to see you. I assume you want to talk about something pertaining to the room?", she asked.  
I looked around the class.

The students were sitting there patiently at their tables, looking at me as if I was the second coming of Luke Skywalker. I decided to ignore them. After all, they were all non-characters, just like the cleaning duo from earlier. Instead, I decided to have some fun with the teacher. While that might have been outside of my boundaries usually… But I mean, if nothing really mattered anyway, why not amuse myself before someone finally got around to getting rid of me?

"Yeah. I came to ask", I (almost!) stuttered, "you see. I just felt like interrupting lessons today, that's all. Sorry about that!"  
The teacher tilted her head. "Monika, you are aware that the consumption of alcohol on school property is prohibited, right?", she asked sternly. I think I remember her name. Miss Saisho I believe it was. A stickler for rules and quick to jump to conclusions, but a nice person overall, with a very weird sense of humor, albeit I had yet to see her laugh. If she seriously thought I was drunk, she should probably go to bars more often, but I honestly did doubt that this was the case.

I nodded. "Of course. I am technically underage as far as drinking goes either way. I don't drink alcohol, only the tears of my enemies. That is, except for that one time my enemies cried wine, of course.", I answered while giving her the same smile the janitors earlier got to see.

The teacher looked at me as if I had just informed her that I intended dividing by zero.

Incredibly amused.  
"That one was very funny, Monika, but I am afraid that out of all the people in this classroom, only three would get that joke.", she snarked. It was noteworthy that she still looked just as stoic as before, at least for a few seconds. Then, she gave me a smirk. "Of course, if he even realized that you were making that joke, as it was oddly subtle, not something I´m used from you.", she said. I was admittedly a bit confused by that statement. 'I, blatantly, say stuff which, blatantly, is blatantly untrue and hope that people find it amusing' doesn't sound the least bit subtle to me.  
The school bell rang and the teacher quickly shouted a "Class dismissed!" into the room, to maintain the illusion that she was still capable of keeping the class in check at this point. I left my post at the door and walked up to her, mostly to avoid taking a stray elbow to the chest as the students flooded by.

"Miss… Teacher, are you okay?", I asked. She was packing her stuff, just like the students. Albeit way slower and less excited. "Why yes, Monika. I would've preferred a stronger last word, but we got through all the important stuff. I haven't seen my students this interested in quite a while." Of course you haven't. After all, you haven't seen them at all for an infinitely long while before this. "Either way, I am finished here. While I am quite sure that you should have more lessons right now… Feel free to use your clubroom already. I assume you have very important work to do and won't bother you with that.", she said while nodding towards me. I was quite sure she just hoped to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

Indeed, she just left without giving me as much as a glance.

I carried myself over the teacher's desk and slumped into her chair.

I placed my arms on the desk, crossed my fingers and allowed my head to rest on my hands.

The room was neat and tidy. Rays of sunshine shone in from the large windows, illuminating the place. I let out a large sigh as I observed this dead, empty room. Today hadn't been all that bad, in retrospect, I told myself. After all, I had plenty of opportunities to joke around with random people who likely didn't even exist.  
Oh well.

Time to -

The door swung open, even more violently than when I had entered. "Attention! Here I come!", somebody shouted into the room. I turned around, to face a pink-haired pink-eyed girl of rather small frame, with a large tray filled with decorated, even pinker cupcakes in her arms. The newcomer looked as if a Barbie dolls purse had come to life and had then decided to show a raspberry the truth about storks. This living candy was one of the literature club members, nobody else but: "Natsuki!"  
Natsuki looked up from her tray. "Gez, Monika! Didn't expect to see you here already! What are you doing here?", she asked. Who did she expect then…? "I got suicidal and decided that lethal boredom is a good method of self-execution.", I answered, more or less jokingly. Natsuki paused for a second, before shaking her head in... disappointment, maybe. "What about you?", I shot back. Natsuki sighed. She quickly planted her tray on the nearest table and took a deep breath. Then, in one continuous movement, she swooped around towards me and pressed her hands into her sides. "Monika", she started, "I can't believe that you would joke about something like this. Suicide is a very serious topic, you know." I gave her a sweet smile. "Hey, it is safer than hanging. You won't accidentally strangle yourself to a long, painful death that lasts all morning if you just bore yourself to death.", I replied, before placing my head back on my hands.  
Natsuki rolled her eyes audibly (and I am only slightly exaggerating when I use that word), before picking up her cupcakes again and putting them down at her usual place. She paused after a while, to look at me. "Monika? Are you okay? You were joking with the creepy bit about boredom earlier, right?", she asked. I lifted my hand to wave dismissively. "Should I ever die of boredom, you have full permission to bury me in the next hole you find. And if it's a mousehole. Not as if I'll care at that point."  
Natsuki didn't answer, choosing to give me a concerned look instead.

After a while of her staring at me, I sighed and decided to give in.  
"I am sorry. That joke was stupid and I shouldn't have made it. Are you happy?", I threw at her.

Natsuki took a deep breath.

She exhaled and turned around to open the closet, the place where she kept all of her secret manga. Mangas? Whatever.  
"You know. You didn't press me for the reason why I am here. Don't you care about that?", she asked while rummaging in the closet, almost as if to divert attention from the offensive jokes. I watched her trying to reach for one of the upper shelves, where a lot of the more recent manga had ended up.  
"Sure, sure, why not.", I answered.  
I watched as Natsuki looked around the room to find something to climb on top of. Last time, she had used the teacher's chair to get the books, but now, I had claimed it. I still remembered that she couldn't use a student's chair since those were attached to the desks (allegedly). I still don't know why she never got the idea to just drag a table over. Or maybe she did and I just forgot, not that it matters anymore.

"Alright, I'll just tell you then, I guess. But more enthusiasm next time, please!", Natsuki commanded.  
She had started trying to climb up the shelves to reach the top.

"So, you see. We would have had had Physical education right now. But a few of the more popular girls announced that they'd try to prank me into the boys changing room because, apparently, 'You look like a trap'. Goddamn transphobes... As you might understand, I'd rather avoid PE for now for that reason, maybe they'll forget about it by next week.", she explained. I nodded. "I see why you would get scared. The thought of your own classmates doing such horrible crimes is scary, especially if you are on the receiving end…", I said. Natsuki stopped her closet climbing to look at me. I noticed that she had almost reached her box. "What crimes? The whole situation being criminally embarrassing?", she asked. I was about to answer something horribly insensitive, as she suddenly fell out of the closet and loudly landed on her back.  
"Natsuki?"  
I quickly stood up from my chair and hastily crossed the room.  
Natsuki gagged a bit, but the guttural sounds quickly turned into a weak laughter. "You really shouldn't joke about things like that, Monika.", she wheezed out. I smirked. "I was not…", I started to lie, before deciding to stop talking. Instead, I stood up to reach Natsuki's box. Funnily, I was just barely able to grab it from a standing position. I quickly pulled the box off the shelf and placed it on the ground, next to the owner.  
Natsuki sat up. "Thanks for that, but I would´ve managed to do this on my own.", she said.

I smiled a smile, my first genuine smile towards her in…. Ever, I guess.

"Yes. You would have."

Somebody knocked on the door.

* * *

 _Well, that was the first chapter, I guess. Here we got to meet our characters, like "Those five people you are already meant to know who are actually relevant", "Those people who are known by their job and or societal position" and, of course, Alex, who will, without a doubt, be a very relevant character that will really appear a lot very often all the time. I must warn you beforehand, almost every single OC will be played for laughs, because I dislike OC´s and they all deserve to die, but I also don't want to write a horror story, because horror is just like Ethanol: It ruins your liver._

 _I like puns._

 _(Note that the hatred of OC's is overplayed. Don't trust her, see below.)_

 _Also, I don't like explaining jokes either, but I will do so for the ones that are convoluted and might become important later on. However, keep in mind that certain authors really love littering their stories with so many false clues that their stories end up resembling a fish salad, thus, a joke being explained here doesn't mean it will become important. It means that the joke is convoluted._

 _* The German word for wine (plural) is "Weine", while the word for cry is the rather similar "weine" (In first person singular). Friedrich Nietzsche himself was a German, which is why the teacher assumed Monika would deem a bilingual joke (or more accurately, pun) appropriate._

 _Of course, Monika had no intentions of making a joke this convoluted, possibly because she isn't secretly the mad hatter. (You are repeating yourself…) At least I am not the one who sometimes talks to himself in the second person! (Spoilers. And I already removed that joke about accordion salesmen, what more do you want?) Of course, sorry, I guess._

…

 _This exchange will make way more sense a few chapters down the line._

 _So yeah. I will see you next chapter! Stay strong, stay literal and stay at school, kids! And don't talk to strangers! And don't do drugs, except cigarettes, alcohol, and saccharides! And ensure to always pay your taxes in time! And don't litter the environment! And don't travel into the past and kidnap a juvenile Pyrotherium! And eat your vegetables! And don't puncture the posterolateral artery while performing heart surgery! And don't copy your homeworks! And don't play horror games or read horror game fanfi-Wait wait wait where are you going come back I wasn't done! (I think this is enough) But…. Yeah, fine._

 _I'll see you in the next chapter!_

 _[I have to note a few things before we move on._

 _First of, I would like to apologize for sprinkling my prose with words that are way more convoluted than necessary, especially if there are synonyms that would suffice just as well. I am a bit of a foreigner, being only about 5% English. Which translates to "I have a cousin twice removed or something like that who immigrated to Michigan or wherever". Thus, I sometimes tend to jump to obscure words because they feel better. Be glad that I am not french tho, if them was so, you would be in for philosophy textbooks dripping from the lips of even the dumbest comedic reliefs. Which is way better than what you are currently getting, namely math textbooks without the numbers. (Yes, math textbooks use such incredulous phrases as incongruous and interconvert. Actually, on second thought, given all the jokes, inaccuracies, self-aggrandizing and unfitting references, to a large portion of my audience, this might look closer to a history textbook.)_

 _Second of, please, take everything any character says with a grain of salt (Same with me, myself, for that matter). Actually, you can probably trust the POV characters for the most part, unless they are aware of you. Third of, -](I realized that I was lacking a major pretentious "Better than thou" indicator! Namely, the inspirational quote that doesn't really fit the story, except one character at one point says something that sounds vaguely similar if you squint hard enough! And while I could just write said quote at the top… You know. Where it belongs… I prefer the convoluted approach because in case you can't tell yet, I can be a bit of a ham. Here you go, I'll see you in the next chapter!)_

 _[Feel free to submit criticism as you see fit. And notify if any of my symbols don't work, I already tried to play cleverly with Hyphens and Tildes, just to be disappointed, but these straight lines seem to work just as well.]_

* * *

" **Humanity created god(s) in their own image. Do good merely for the sake of humanity."**

-Inscription on the Ludwig Feuerbach memorial plaque in Nuremberg, 1930-1933 and 1955 onwards, translated very loosely.


End file.
